A trip to Great Yarmouth is a hoot. The idiosyncratic seafront can only be described as unique...but it works.
Spending a day amidst the jumble of neon lights, pastel-shaded doughnut shacks, casinos and arcades, framed by some of the region’s most beautiful historic buildings (from the dome-turreted Hippodrome, to The Empire, and Windmill) is enough to raise a smile from even the most cantankerous. Like taking a hit of pure serotonin.
Amongst our friendship group it’s known as ‘The Vegas of the East’! Where better, then, to escape to as ‘autumn proper’ arrives? A place to blow out the cobwebs and indulge in nostalgic fun...trying to forget the fact summer is fading fast.
Although our mate’s hotel pick (close to the town’s ‘premier lap-dancing club’) seemed dubious on arrival, we found our seafront accommodation friendly, clean and right on the doorstep of Great Yarmouth’s attractions.
Now, before I sink my teeth into the foodie section of this review, I feel a need to point out just some of the things you can (and we did) do, on your visit. Remember – the seaside’s not just for summer!
1. ‘Tat shopping’. If you don’t go home without a bumper sticker, stick of rock, or slogan T from Regent Street, have you even been to Yarmouth?
2. Ride on the now award-winning snails at Joyland. Memorable as a child....more so when everyone in your group is over 35 and needs a whole snail to themselves. Rides are £1.50 each.
3. Stroll the almost never-ending Venetian Waterways.
4. Brush shoulders with Marilyn Monroe and Spiderman at The Windmill, where 13 holes of mini golf is £6 per person – and worth every penny.
5. Try to win big at Palace Bingo. Be warned - the callers are very quick!
6. Take in a show at the Hippodrome. The Halloween special looks amazing.
7. Can you win a totally pointless toy in one of the arcades’ 2p machines?
8. Visit the impressive new Marina Leisure Centre on the seafront, with its pools, flumes and Clip and Climb.
9. Take in the quieter side of Yarmouth’s historic quays.
10. Brave the rides at Pleasure Beach.
Now, back to that food. Don’t taken in by the allure of blue candyfloss and hot dogs of dubious origin because, quite frankly, you can do so much better than that.
For a really decent lunch or dinner, I recommend The Imperial Hotel, which I’ve always found very good.
But if it’s cheap, cheerful and decent you’re after – I've got you covered.
Arriving at lunchtime, I dragged our gang to the town centre market, where work is ongoing to the impressive new sheltered trading space.
A mainstay here for nearly 20 years is the Docwra’s Chip Stall. I can’t resist the tug of a vendor who specialises in just one thing – and doing it well – and I think this place churns out some of the very best chips in the country.
I’m not alone. Earlier this year chef Ainsley Harriott and critic Grace Dent gave it their stamp of approval while filming telly’s Best of British By The Sea.
As with all simple things, the devil is in the detail. And here, that devil (or delight in my case) is cooking in pure dripping. I truly believe the very best chips HAVE to be cooked in dripping. For me, the flavour is incomparable, and you’re not left with that grim oily film around your mouth after chowing down.
Portions start at just shy of a quid for a cone, up to nearly a couple of pounds for the largest helping – all expertly wrapped into paper pockets for easy eating.
They are delicious. Lightly crisp, soft within, and, crucially, fresh.
Puritans will have them doused in salt and the stall’s pickled onion vinegar. But there’s a list of affordable extras to choose from too – be it flavoured mayo (sweet chilli for my mate), roast chicken or onion gravy, or (my choice), the silky, spiky hot curry sauce.
I can’t think of anything I’d rather eat on bench outside Bon Marche on a sunny Saturday afternoon to be honest.
Sated (for the time being), I gave my mates a tour of Martyns Walk Round Store (which I loved as a kid) where purchases range from fancy dress costumes, to ‘fart buttons’ and handbags!
En route to the Venetian Waterways there was a diversion into Tickles party and joke store which, at this time of year is converted into a house of horrors. Everything you need to get that Halloween party started...and terrify your neighbourhood’s children!
Dinner was at The Empire. We’ve been chewing our friends’ ears off about the place since our last visit. But as that was largely booze-fuelled, we felt compelled to come back with them as adjudicators. Could it really have been that good? Yes! Yes is the answer.
Historic England not long ago declared the former picture house, built in 1911, one of the finest historic places to eat in the country.
Everything about The Empire dazzles – from the striking Ghostbusters HQ-alike façade, to the dizzying décor inside, where every inch is plastered with vintage signs, lights or memorabilia. It’s like walking onto a movie set. But you can still glimpse the bones of the place. The curve and moulding of the ceiling. The beautiful balconette.
Dinner comes courtesy of a rota of street food vendors – currently The Bun Exchange, The Dough Exchange and Eagle and Cactus (vegan and veggie Mexican food).
Simply make your choice from the menu, and order via the QR code on your table.
While the idea of pizza loaded with burger bites did appeal, we were all in burger mode. And thank God for that, because they were immense.
The smashed patties from The Bun Exchange range in price from £8 to around £12. Served up in soft, towering buns, the burgers have charred, gnarly, savoury edges, and there's no skimping on fillings. Tangy house-pickled onions and gherkins are standard, with the option to add house hash browns, Cheddar or bacon for an extra £1.50. We tried a combo of these – epic!
Also sampled was a Kyiv-style chicken burger, wrapped in a delicate crunchy coating and liberally dosed with garlic butter and grated Parmesan. “It’s like the best Caesar salad ever,” my friend declared.
Her other half had gone for a double-layered feast of burgers wedged with melted camembert, chilli jam and crispy onions. “It’s so good, but I can’t finish it!”. Well...he did manage in the end. And we all found room for the delectable salt and pepper house fries (£5.50 per portion). Usually these kind of things arrive in a disappointingly small metal plant pot. Not here. The chips, covered in a Chinese-style seasoning, with pickled and spring onion, were generous enough for two...or more. And seriously addictive.
The venue is at its best on a Friday and Saturday night, when live music explodes from the stage. Dirty Havana from Norwich the night we went.
We stayed on until their set finished, making the most of more than reasonable beer prices – which the men amongst our party couldn’t believe. “It’s only a fiver for a pint. Or £4.50. It’s bloody cheap here!”
They stuck with hoppy, resinous Beavertown Neck Oil (£5 on draught), with other options including Goodness YES, Peach Jubel, Camden Hells and Corona. Craft cans are behind the bar too. I highly recommend local brewer Wildcraft’s Black Forest Stout (£4.20), which has a deeply satisfying chocolate and cherry finish, without being overly sweet.
The only things that didn’t hit the spot were the cocktails. Though reasonably priced at £7.50 a pop, they were largely too sweet or too sour. In fact, we couldn’t finish three out of four ordered in our round.
There were no sore heads in the morning...but we still needed a fry-up. And by far the most-recommended to me was The Beach Hut on the esplanade, near the bowls green and just south of the Venetian Waterways.
Beaming bright under the unseasonably hot October sun, the Caribbean-style shack was rammed on a Sunday morning. And every other diner was a dog (literally, I’m not being rude). It is, then, very pooch-friendly. The lady in front of me even ordered a couple of sausages, specifying they were for her pets.
There’s a bit of seating inside, but mostly you’ll have to brave it outside or order a takeaway. Choices range from a full English (£8) to avo on toast (£6.50), and filled muffins (£4.50). The counter has sweet treats such as homemade seeded flapjacks and brownies. And, chalked up on the wall is the promise of Yarmouth’s best homemade clam chowder, or beef brisket (surely reasons to return).
The breakfast chef seemed to be in his element on the grill, churning out orders like a well-oiled machine.
We all went for one of the breakfast rolls (£3.20 for one filling, up to £4.80 for three). And none of us expected the behemoth filled ciabattas which arrived, with their middles including everything from sausage, egg and bacon, to bacon, hash browns and mushrooms.
Every single bite was delicious. And it was clear to taste good quality raw ingredients had been used. The herby, burger-shaped sausages were a particular hit.
Cheers too, to the drinks menu. It was too cold for the creamy Jersey ice cream-laden iced coffee, but the mocha was more than decent. And my hot chocolate was superlative. One of the best I’ve had in the east, in fact. Served in a Tiki mug, it was so thick and rich I could almost stand a spoon in it.
“Well, that was ace,” one of our friends said. And that summed up our overnighter perfectly.
Need to know
Great Yarmouth Market is open 9am to 4pm Monday to Saturday. Docwra’s Chip Stall was open until 4.30pm on the Saturday we visited.
The Empire is open from 12noon to midnight Wednesday to Sunday. Tables can be booked online in advance. It’s over 18s only in the evenings.
The Beach Hut at Kiosk 4, The Esplanade, is open 9.30am to 3.30pm Saturday to Wednesday.
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